Tuesday, February 24, 2009

THE HOLY HANDGRENADE OF ANTIOCH

From the Book of Armaments:

"And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying: Oh Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, for with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny pieces, in thy mercy."


"And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the carp, and the anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large....."


"And the Lord spake, saying: first shalt thou take out thy holy pin. Then, shalt thou count to three; no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, no'er count thou two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out...."


"Once the number three, being the third number of thy count, be reached, then lobbest thou the holy hand grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being not goodly in my sight, shall snuff it."


This concludeth the lesson.

3 comments:

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